Unrestful feeling......a quandary.

What do you do, when you feel an ongoing sense of unrest?
Is it the sign of some kind of midlife crisis?

Or....is it more a matter of me just discovering, more and more, the path which I prefer to take with my life?

I am going to admit it here and now......something is missing from my life. Maybe a lot of "somethings", I don't know. What I DO know is, I am quite unfulfilled. The biggest problem, though, is that I don't entirely know why, which leads me to believe that it is not a single issue that makes me feel this way but rather a combination of several things.

I do find myself making a lot of compromises, but I guess I've just been telling myself that this is merely a season in my life. My kids are still at home, and they are at that young-teenager stage. Many things that I would like to do are on the back burner as I navigate the seas of parenthood. It's the season, right? What's that phrase....."this too shall pass"? That phrase is thrown around an awful lot in the "mommy circles" of social networking. "This too shall pass", and then one day the kids will be grown, at which time I am free to pursue all of those things I have been longing for. But nobody tells you how to deal with the sad, empty feeling, or the feeling that you almost want to cry because of all the things you could be doing--instead of being trapped in your own little family portrait hell. No one cares that I want to go to the East Coast, or to Hawaii, or to travel the world, for that matter. No one cares that I want to learn new languages, see new things, meet new people. I read copiously, and my family scoffs at me. This, in turn, frustrates me because more than anything, I want them to expand their world too. I want to visit historic places. I want to climb mountains. I want to walk on beaches--and beaches are my favorite place. I want to go to ball games. I want to sail on lakes and oceans. No one within my little nuclear family has any interest in doing any of these things, so if I am going to rely on them--it will never happen. No, these are things that I must do myself. It would be nice to share such great experiences with someone....but what do you do when no one wants to?

Do you give up?

I cannot accept that.

I am most certainly not one to throw myself a pity party, and I definitely don't want nor need anyone's sympathy. I have spent my entire life taking care of business and handling my own problems and it's not going to stop anytime soon--but I will admit that every once in awhile, it can be cathartic to get these things off your chest.

And now I return you to more worthwhile blog postings. Carry on.